Ding Dong
The screen-door flapped in the wind as I walked up the path with my Avon brochure clutched to my bosom like a talisman. A curtain twitched and maybe you'll say I'm paranoid, but I swear her fuchsia-tipped fingers glowed green against the ivory lace.
A loud thud echoed from inside as I reached the flapping screen and I paused, finger poised over the doorbell at the sound of something heavy being dragged along the floor. My jaw dropped as a body slid horizontally through a doorway across the room. Footsteps thumped towards me and a figure lurched my way from the direction the body had gone.
You would think they'd learn to disguise themselves a bit better. A little concealer on that green skin and I wouldn't have known any different. Okay, so this ugly duckling would never be a swan, but nonetheless, she could have tried a little. So, there I stood, holding out my brochure with my car-salesman smile nailed firmly in place.
“Oh, I just adore Avon.” She snatched the brochure with hands that could double for shovels. “Do they still make that perfume I love? Occur? I used to smother myself in that. Come in!” By then I'd seen the pointy teeth and smelled the rotting flesh on her breath. I'm not as daft as I look; I know a ghoul when I see one.
I opened my sample case and grabbed an atomizer filled with clear liquid. Before she could react I held it up and sprayed. Got her right between the eyes. The transformation was pretty quick, but I always use the extra-strength formula.
“Third one this week.” I stepped over the gooey green mess on the doorstep and went in search of the body. “Bloody politicians are everywhere.”
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8 comments:
Oh, I loved it and laughed out loud a number of times! Great job and thanks for joining the challenge!
Ha ha! Now that's an original entry! Love how matter-of-fact she was :-)
Excellent! What a fun little piece. I hope you win.
Cheryl,
This was awesome! I loved the clever little humor you've interjected at the end. Likewise, your descriptions are fantastic. One of my favorite lines? Holding the Avon brochure like a talisman. Beautiful!
The only thing I noticed was that "You'd think I..." appears twice (I think in the first and third paragraphs; Blogger won't let me see the post while I'm making this response), but that's easy to fix!
Awesome little piece. I had such a blast reading it!
Thanks for the comments folks, glad you liked it. Sometimes, a story just wants to be humorous and this was what that collection of words evoked.
Thanks for pointing out my deliberate repetition, Rance ;) One of my main struggles and something I often miss on the re-read :)
Excellent! I loved how 'swan' was used :)
Nice, very funny. I love the voice, now if it's the third one today she must not be the innocent avon lady but a ghoul hunter? or both?
Sooo creative LOL! I love this!
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